Like dating, finding a good couples therapist requires finding the proper person for the job. You can improve your relationship with the help of a certified marriage therapist, but how can you entrust someone with a matter as private as your marriage?
Make a list of all your objectives. Is it hard for you to trust again after someone betrayed you? Is every discussion now a debate because of how poorly people are able to convey ideas? Having a clear goal in mind for treatment will help you focus your quest.
Qualifications are important, but personality is even more so. No amount of experience will help if the therapist’s approach is unpleasant for you or your spouse. While some therapists are quiet and encouraging, others are forthright and forceful. Take some time to consider if you would rather receive gentle prodding or direct criticism.
The methods employed by various therapists can vary greatly. Some adhere to more regimented approaches, such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or the Gottman Method, while others prefer a more free-form style. Seek out someone who provides organized advice if you like well-defined plans and assignments. A talk-based method could be more suitable if you prefer in-depth, unstructured discussions.
Elements of a more pragmatic kind are also important. Would you find it more convenient to have therapy sessions virtually or in person? Another important consideration is cost; although therapy is an investment, it shouldn’t break the bank. If necessary, verify your insurance coverage or seek out sliding scale choices.
Above everything else, listen to your intuition. You deserve to feel encouraged, not condemned, after your initial consultation. Stay on the hunt if you get the creeps. A competent therapist will do more than simply listen; they will also offer suggestions for improvement, criticism, and next steps to assist you and your partner grow closer.